Pretty Liars
by Carmenere
Summary: Over the years, Hawke and Isabela have a...difficult relationship. F!Hawke and Isabela. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

On good days, when a good salty sea wind was blowing and the stink at the docks wasn't so bad, Isabela could almost pretend that she hadn't lost her ship and was stuck in Kirkwall.

Almost.

For the thousandth time, she reminded herself that she was only stuck until she could find the relic, and then she could pay off Castillon, get out of Kirkwall and find herself a ship. Then she'd be gone, sailing the seas to wherever she damn well wanted. And never, ever taking a job with Castillon or any of his kind again. She'd learned her lesson.

But she was on edge about her duel with Hayder tonight. Hayder wouldn't play fair – she had never trusted him to play fair – and she couldn't get her ship if he chopped off one of her hands, like he had been threatening to do. She wouldn't put it past him to bring a gang along to the duel and have them all jump her. He'd probably sell the hand as a trophy to Castillon.

She shrugged, and left the docks, heading for the Hanged Man. Maybe if she got good and drunk she'd think of an answer to the problem.

"Hey, Corff." She threw down three bits on the bar. "You know my style."

"Are they your friends?" he asked her, indicating several men drinking loudly at a table. Isabela frowned as she recognized Lucky and his mates. One of them made a grab for Nora as she passed, and she crowned him with the ale bottle she was carrying. He didn't even blink. "They came in hours ago and have been bothering everyone. Haven't even paid for their drinks yet. They say they're waiting for you."

"Lucky," she called. "Do you have something for me?"

Lucky stood up and weaved his way over to her. Corff handed her a drink. "He's trouble," he warned her.

"Imagine that," she said dryly. "Well, Lucky?"

He made a grab for her drink. Isabela jabbed her elbow at his nose, and he ducked out of the way just in time. "You'll get a drink after I get my information."

"And more besides," he said, leering at her. She rolled her eyes. "If you can't hold your liquor, it's a pretty good sign you don't know what to do with…"

"You didn't give us enough information on the relic," he said loudly, talking over her. "We couldn't find much."

"Story of your life, I'd expect. What did you find?"

"Whatever your relic is, the Tevinters are looking for it too. A dwarf had it, and was going to sell it to them…but someone else swiped it and is on the run with it. Whoever it is, they'll probably want to sell to the Tevinters."

Isabela waited. Lucky raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

She was dumbfounded. "You want me to pay out coin for _that_? You think I owe you a drink for that?"

"You owe us! You said you'd pay us for information on the relic!"

"_I_ could've told you that the Tevinters want the relic," she snapped. "A dwarf had it and then someone stole it from him…you probably don't even know the dwarf's name!"

"We'll get our money's worth," he snarled. Isabela turned back to her whiskey. "I'd have paid for information. You told me nothing, so that's what you'll get."

She heard the tell-tale whoosh of air as one of them swung something at her head, probably a fist or a bottle, and dropped down to the left. Now she felt good – brawling half-drunk in a bar was what she was born to do.

She came up around and clocked his mate before he had even had time to raise his fists. The one directly behind her was the one swinging the bottle, and he brought it down towards the side of her face. Isabela ducked and threw herself at his stomach, driving her shoulder into it with all the force she could muster. He went over a table backwards, and Isabela felt the third man's hand on her shoulder. She flung herself backwards and both of them went down in a heap, his head crashing into the Hanged

Man's ale-stained floorboards. Just for good measure, she ground her elbow into his face.

Lucky had been standing back, smirking as he watched, but now he went for his greatsword. She didn't even think – she had her dagger out and at his throat before he had the sword halfway out of its sheathe.

"Do you really want to play it this way, Lucky?"

Lucky let go of his sword. "Thrice-damned bitch," he cursed under his breath, and the quartet scurried from the bar.

"Another round?" she asked Corff sweetly. He shook his head and gave her another glass. "Couldn't you have picked their pockets before they left?"

"That wouldn't have been sporting," she joked, and took a deep draught. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a redheaded woman approaching her cautiously.

"You're new around here, aren't you?" She smiled encouragingly at the woman. She had a pair of daggers strapped to her back, and Isabela's sharp eye noted the lockpicking kit at her waist. "I don't remember seeing you at the Hanged Man."

"And you know everyone who comes to the Hanged Man?" the woman asked.

"I live at the bar, sweet thing. I'm Isabela." She held out her hand. The other woman shook it. "My name's Carina. Carina Hawke."

"Oh, I think I _have_ heard of you. My friend Varric was saying something about a Hawke."

"You know Varric?" Carina looked surprised.

"Didn't I say I knew everyone here? He said he's trying to sign you up for that Deep Roads expedition. Watch out for that. Darkspawn are no fun to play with."

"Easier way to make coin than hard, honest work," she laughed. Isabela laughed too. "You know, you might be just the person I need. If you're interested in making a bit of coin, that is. And I promise it's not honest work."

"Well, I'm no stranger to that. What do you need done?"

"I've arranged for a duel with…an old acquaintance tonight. He's been bothering me, and if I win, he leaves me alone. The trouble is…"

"You don't trust him to play fair," Carina completed.

"Exactly. He's never been one to win something straight out if he can win it underhanded. I need you to watch my back and make sure there's no funny business."

"I could manage watching your back."

"I bet. Tonight, then? In the square before the viscount's castle."

"I'll be there." Carina vanished upstairs, going to Varric's rooms no doubt. Isabela took another swallow of her drink thoughtfully. She could see what Varric had meant – there was some sort of presence to Carina, an air of competence and toughness.

* * *

><p>As she had predicted, Hayder did not play fair. Isabela wondered why the Chantry didn't lock its doors after night had fallen; Hayder couldn't be the only one who had realized that the Chantry made an excellent fort for illicit doings at midnight.<p>

Carina had brought along three friends – a small, ethereal-looking Dalish elf who turned out to be a blood mage, Varric, and a redheaded woman in the uniform of the _guard_, of all things, who managed to take out Hayder with one solidly placed punch. Isabela sunk a dagger into his abdomen for good measure. She didn't want this one coming back to haunt her. The guardswoman kept giving her sideways glances – she clearly didn't approve of her.

She did wish that Hayder hadn't opened his big mouth and started blabbing about the relic. Carina wiped her blades on Hayder's tunic and turned to her with a businesslike look in her eyes. "So what's this relic that everyone seems to be talking about?"

Isabela repeated the lie. No one could be trusted with the truth of the relic; she regretted having to deceive Carina, but it was necessary. "I'm not entirely sure what it is, but it's old, and it's valuable, and Castillon wants it in place of my skin. So he's going to get it. Eventually."

"And who's Castillon, exactly?"

"He's a crime lord in Antiva. Well, I suppose he's a 'merchant.'" She sketched quotation marks around 'merchant.' "I used to work for him. Odd jobs, and the pay was good. But this one job – he had me escorting his ship from Ferelden. I got a bad feeling about it halfway through, because he hardly ever ships from Ferelden. I boarded the ship to find slaves. Elves, humans, children even. They had paid him to take them away from the Blight. Instead, he sold them into slavery."

"So you…"

"Released them. I commandeered his ship and gave them a chance at freedom. And now Castillon's got me chasing down the relic as payment." She couldn't resist a dig at the uptight guardswoman. "You thought I was all bad, didn't you?"

"If it gets Castillon off your back, I'll give you a hand with chasing it down." Carina held out her hand.

Isabela was surprised. The last thing she'd been expecting from her was an offer of help. She had assumed that Carina would simply take her coin and disappear back into Lowtown. But here she was.

"Thanks, Carina. I'll let you know the first I hear of anything. And if you want a hand with something, you know where to find me." How very green her eyes were. "And I've a room at the Hanged Man, if you're looking for some…fun later."


	2. Chapter 2

Carina loathed the smell of Gamlen's house. Everything that could rot was rotting, and anything that was metal was rusty and ineffectual. Even though she knew she needed to save up money, she couldn't help but buy her food elsewhere, because it made her shudder to have to use a spoon that was eaten away by rust.

"Here's a letter from Athenril," Bethany said, picking up a note that was dropped off earlier that morning. "She says she might have a job for us. What do you think?"

Carina pursed her mouth. "I don't trust Athenril as far as I can throw her. But we can always see what she's offering. Anything else?"

Bethany rifled through the messages. "Another one from Athenril. She suggests going to see some dwarf, Anso, because he might have a job for us too."

"We can have a look." Carina ran her hands through her hair. Lately, all she had been doing was running errands as a hired knife. She was sick and tired of it. _Maybe one day, if this expedition ever gets off the ground, I won't have to clean up after the people in Kirkwall ever again._ Aveline, at least, had gotten somewhere – after they had discovered Donnic in an ambush that the guard captain had set up, Aveline had replaced him. Even if Aveline was a little stiff and uptight, she was a good friend, and Carina was glad that she had helped her out.

"Sister, I think that you should reconsider going to hunt the Tal-Vashoth." Bethany looked a little nervous as she brought it up.

"Oh, Beth. I don't like the idea any more than you do, but we've got to be practical. We're short on cash, and the expedition leaves in a few weeks. We still need twenty sovereigns. If we don't have it by then, we're back to running round Lowtown avoiding templars."

* * *

><p>The elf was taller than most, and had the most unusual tattoos all over his body. "Embedded lyrium?" Merrill said disbelievingly. "That must be incredibly painful."<p>

"It is," he said bluntly. "I realize that I have no right to ask for your help, but I'd gladly compensate you. I must confront Danarius before he leaves Kirkwall."

"I'd say go for it." Isabela wiped her daggers on the dead mercenary's tunic. "Always help out handsome elves, that's my motto."

Sometimes Carina wished that she'd shut her mouth. "Well, I guess we'd better see this contract through." The elf – Fenris – led the way to a mansion in Hightown. "Do you think that he knows that you're coming?" Carina asked apprehensively. "Nothing like a prepared mage."

"He is waiting to hear if the mercenaries captured me, I expect," Fenris growled. "We will have the element of surprise."

Aveline drew her sword. "Let's get this over with, then."

They cut their way through half a dozen shades before they had even cleared the first room. "I'd say he's prepared," Isabela remarked.

Fenris ignored them all, striding through the rooms of the mansion, cutting down every shade and demon that appeared. "You know what his problem is? He doesn't know how to fight as a team," Isabela said, hurrying after him. "We don't even have anything to do, he's clearing them all out. Not that I'm _complaining_, mind you, it's just that if he ever runs into anything more serious, he's going to be in trouble."

"He's trying to kill his old master," Aveline pointed out. "If you were chasing your old master, I expect you'd be pretty reckless too."

As they entered the main hall, dozens of shades popped up all around them. Fenris gave a wild yell and leapt for the closest one without any consideration of his safety. Carina and Isabela automatically dodged around the shades, striking them from behind as quickly as they could. Merrill stood in the doorway, flinging spell after spell into their midst, and Aveline got her back against a wall and went to work.

Once the last shade was down, Fenris ran for the room above them. "Fenris, wait!" Carina shouted. "You don't know what's up there…"

He kicked in the door and cursed loudly in Tevinter. "Nothing, that's what's up here. Gone again. I…" He shook his head and abruptly stalked past them all.

"I like it when they've got a bit of a temper," Isabela said admiringly. "Why is it always about sex with you?" Aveline gritted out.

"At least this old master left behind valuables." Carina started picking the lock of the nearest chest. All in all, she came out with nearly three sovereigns and some mage accoutrements. "Come on. Let's go see where he ran off to."

Fenris was outside, leaning against a wall. As they came out, he rounded on them. "I saw you casting spells inside," he said coldly to Merrill. "I should have realized sooner. You clearly don't know how dangerous she is." Fenris pointed at Carina. "She will turn on you. It's only a question of when."

"I would never…" Merrill spluttered. Carina felt her expression harden. She had dealt with types like him before. Fools who thought that every mage was an uncontrollable demon, waiting to strike. She heard it almost every day, and it made her rage helplessly inside, even more determined to protect Bethany. And now she had Anders and Merrill, two more apostates, under her wing, and her protectiveness extended to them as well. She stepped in front of Merrill and stared Fenris down. "You don't know her. Come near her, though, and I will strike you down."

Fenris stepped back. "Your attitude is admirable…but misplaced." He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I don't want to argue with you. I want to thank you. We might not have found Danarius, but I appreciate the effort you put in. Here is the coin that I promised." He held it out, and Carina stepped forwards to take it, never taking her eyes off his face. "If you want my help, you can find me here."

"But…" Carina was surprised as his change of tack. "I work with mages, you know that."

"You strike me as a sensible type. If you trust them, I will believe you."

"Oh." She floundered. "…thank you."

* * *

><p>The Hanged Man was fast becoming her favourite place in Kirkwall. Her friends frequently showed up, and there was no better place to drown your sorrows than in the bottom of a very large, very cheap mug of ale. Granted, it tasted like piss, but it still got the job done.<p>

She fanned out her hand of cards. "Ooh, this is a good one. Varric, I hope you've got lots of coin on you tonight."

"Give it a try, Hawke. I see every time you slip a card from the deck."

Isabela was busy trying to teach Merrill the rules of Wicked Grace. "It would probably be easier to teach her if you hadn't given her so much to drink beforehand, you know," Carina pointed out. Merrill was an adorable lightweight – one mug of ale and she was completely gone. But she was still trying to sort the rules out. "So if you have _this _card in your hand, you can't play _this_ one…"

"Oh, she's getting it now!" Isabela said, grinning. "What do they play in Sundermount?"

"Oh, we don't play cards! We tell stories, mostly, and sing songs. And we go hunting."

"That's what you do for entertainment?" Isabela said, wrinkling her nose. "Thank the Maker I was born a sinful human, then."

"I've never heard you thank the Maker for anything, Rivaini," Varric remarked. "That's my point, Hawke. Shell out."

"I'll get you one of these days, Varric." Carina dropped the penny on the table. "I think we all know what you do for entertainment, Isabela."

"Cheaper than playing cards," Isabela smirked. "Takes just as much skill, though."

"So does singing!" Merrill said, swaying from side to side. "I'm talking about a different kind of skill, Kitten," Isabela replied, amused.

"I missed something dirty again, didn't I?" she said regretfully.

"You know what I love about you, Kitten? You're so willing to be corrupted. Not like that sweet little sister of yours…" she grinned at Carina.

"Oh, Bela. If you're needful, you only have to ask." Carina took another swallow of ale.

"I was talking about Beth," she said, amused. "You two really don't look that much alike. But if you're offering…"

"Can't you two just…keep it in?" Anders asked. Varric laughed. "You'll get used to it, Blondie. Not that either of them have done anything about it."

"You know, Anders, you look a little bit familiar…" Isabela said, leaning over the table. "Have we ever met before?"

"You've been in Ferelden before, haven't you? Probably at the Pearl?"

"You've been in the Pearl?" Carina asked, diverted. "Clearly I don't know anything about you at all!"

"I'm a man shrouded in mystery," he replied casually. "And it's not just the 'abomination' part."

"Oh! Were you that runaway mage who could do that electricity thing?"

"Do I want to know this about either of you?" Varric asked. Carina started laughing. "Care for a repeat?" Isabela asked.

Anders shook his head. "I can't help but think that Justice wouldn't be too pleased."

"Justice? Justice, can you hear me? Can Anders come out and play?" Isabela demanded loudly.

* * *

><p>Carina yanked her dagger clear of the Tal-Vashoth Saarebas. "Those things are a bugger to kill," Varric said conversationally. "Well, we'd better go back and tell Javaris what we did."<p>

"Do you think…" Carina hesitated. "They weren't doing anything to us. We just cleared them out. Killed them all. And on the word of a dwarf for _assumed_ future profits."

"When did you get so sanctimonious?" Isabela said, looking surprised. "Did you completely miss the 'future profits' part?"

"No, I…"

"How is it any different from killing those night-time gangs in Kirkwall? That girl in the Hanged Man shells out money for those too."

"They're…"

"You've been accepting money for ages to kill thugs. These aren't any different."

"Rivaini, lay off her," Varric said.

"I hate to agree with Isabela, but you should remember, Carina, they've been preying on caravans on the Wounded Coast." Aveline sheathed her sword. "Just because they didn't attack you first doesn't mean that they should be left alone to hurt innocent people. I would have sent the guard up here myself if I had the men to spare."

She shrugged, defeated. "You're right."

They began the trek back to Kirkwall, and the docks. Carina wrinkled her nose. The place smelled worse than a pigsty. Probably because everyone threw their garbage in the ocean. She hoped that Javaris would honor his bargain – the one thing worse than killing people that hadn't been offending you was not getting paid for it.

At the compound door, she marched straight up to the guard, trying to ignore the fact that he could have made two of her. "I have business with Javaris and your Arishok."

The guard looked down at her, making sure that she felt completely cowed before he replied. "Enter if you must, basra."

"What's a basra?" Aveline said, mystified.

"Go on ahead. I've…got some business to attend to." Isabela backed up.

"What business?"

"It's nothing, really, but I should just…go attend to it now."

"You'd leave me short-handed?" The qunari might not _look_ like they were planning on attacking her on sight, but it was pretty hard to read their expressions.

"Aww, sweet thing, you know I'd never leave you. Permanently, anyway. I just really have to go. Right now."

Aveline rolled her eyes. "Untrustworthy. I told you."

Carina felt oddly at a loss without Isabela at her back as she went into the compound. It was like she was missing one of her hands. The qunari all had at least a head's height on her, and they glowered in a very unfriendly manner as they passed. She remembered the one qunari that had been in Lothering. That one had been taken in by Bethany's friends, and as payment, had killed them all once he awoke. They couldn't be trusted. From the look on Aveline's face, she remembered that qunari too.

"Took you long enough," Javaris grumbled to her as she approached him. "Summon your Arishok!"

"Oh, Maker," Aveline breathed.

The Arishok was half as large again as his fellow qunari. He had horns like a huge ox, and warpaint all over his body. Carina shivered as he strode from a tent behind the steps and took his seat on a large plank of wood with intricate designs.

It turned out that Javaris had lied to them. It wasn't even a surprise to Carina. She had always thought his patter was a bit too smooth. Fortunately, the Arishok forced him to honor his debt to Carina, even if Javaris never received his magic black powder. Carina left bouncing her three sovereigns in her palm. Ten more, and she would be on the Deep Roads expedition.

"Why do you suppose Isabela left?" she asked Varric, as they stepped from the compound into the sunny docks.

"Haven't a clue. I could try and dig something up for you, if you want. But I figure she's just not all that comfortable around them."

"And here I was thinking that their chests were a marvel to behold," Carina sighed. Varric pouted. "Why Hawke, you're telling me that it isn't my chest hair that you dream about?"

"Oh Varric, you know you're _all_ I dream about," Carina leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "But you're always telling me that Bianca stands in my way."

"Too many beautiful women hanging around me, Hawke. I gotta stay faithful to one."


	3. Chapter 3

Carina barged into Aveline's office, late at night, carrying two bottles of wine. "Aveline! Guess what?"

"You finally bedded Isabela," she said dryly, drawing a clean straight line through a name on a list of potential guardsmen.

"Would that be call for a celebration?" Aveline could see that Carina was half-drunk already. "No, I finally have the fifty sovereigns for the expedition!"

"Well, that _is_ good news," Aveline admitted, putting down her quill. "Congratulations, Carina. And I expect you want me to have a drink with you?"

"Why else would I have brought two?"

"Oh, I figured you could put two down without any trouble at all."

"Well, that's true," Carina admitted. "But a toast! I'll be moving up in the world soon!"

They clinked bottles, and both of them drank. Aveline had a modest sip, while Carina knocked back a good portion of hers. Before long, she was really quite drunk.

"Will you want me along?" Aveline asked, looking for a pitcher of water that she could give Carina. Her search was in vain.

"I…hadn't thought about it yet," Carina slurred. "Do you want to come?"

"Not especially," Aveline admitted. "I have a lot of duties as the new guard-captain. But if you need me, I'm there."

"Varric is coming, obviously." She waved the bottle around drunkenly. "Bartrand said I could bring along two friends."

"Carina, is Bethany going?"

Carina set her bottle down with a smack. For a minute, Aveline thought that she had nodded off, until she saw her shoulders shaking.

"Oh, Carina." Aveline sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"I…I can't. What if a darkspawn…I keep seeing that ogre that smashed Carver to pieces. I can't, I can't let that happen to her. If something went wrong…not Bethany."

Aveline fished around for her handkerchief, and pressed it into Carina's hands. Carina sniffled into it. "I know she wants to come. She keeps talking about it. And Mother keeps shooting me these looks, like she's begging me to make her stay. I'll break Beth's heart, but I'd rather break her heart than have some ogre break her spine."

"I think you're right," Aveline said softly. "And if you don't need me to come, I'll look after them. I promise. I'll keep an eye on them both. I'll even keep an eye on Gamlen, although Maker knows, that'll be a trial."

It was a feeble attempt at humor, but Carina gave a watery giggle anyway. "Thanks, Aveline. I won't tear you away from your work. Just please…look after her. After them."

* * *

><p>The only cure for a hangover is more beer, so Carina was back in the Hanged Man that night. She had gone to Bartrand, forked over the coin and Deep Roads maps, and they were to be off tomorrow. Bethany was asleep at home, but the rest of her friends were at the Hanged Man to celebrate their success.<p>

Carina surveyed them all. She already knew that she wasn't taking Aveline, and Varric was coming for sure. That left Isabela, Anders, Merrill and Fenris. It was a tough call. They were each invaluable in their own way, and she wanted to take what _they_ wanted into account, too.

"It's going to be our last night all together for a while," Isabela announced, with a daring look in her eye, "so I'm suggesting a little game."

"Does it involve drinking?" Carina asked.

"It's not an integral part of the game, but everything should involve drinking, so I'm going to say yes," Isabela replied, laughing. "I'm proposing a rousing round of strip poker."

"It's a good thing we're in my suite, then," Varric said. "Well, I'm game. Pardon the awful pun."

"What's strip poker?" Merrill asked.

"It's the best game you'll ever play in your life," Carina assured her. Anders shot her a dark look. "Are you sure about that, Carina?"

"I don't play such games," Aveline said huffily. "I need to go to bed anyway. There are new recruits I have to train in the morning."

"Aveline, don't be a stick in the mud!" Isabela shuffled a deck of cards. "You're all in, aren't you?"

"I still don't know how to play," Merrill said. Isabela patted her hand. "Don't worry, Kitten. I'll lead by example one round, and then you'll have the hang of it."

Aveline still insisted on leaving, so Carina gave her a hug. "I guess this is the last I'll see of you for a while, so take care of yourself," she whispered in the older woman's ear. "And please keep an eye on my family."

Aveline squeezed back. "I will. You take care of yourself down there. I want you coming back."

"I'm coming back." Aveline left and Carina resettled herself. Fenris wore an expression partway between dubious and amused. Anders looked as though he couldn't quite believe what he'd let himself in for. Carina poured them both more beer. "It's a lot more fun if you're drunk. And you won't even remember it!"

"Interesting use of your time, I suppose," Fenris said. Isabela shot him a sly look. "I'd like to see how far down those tattoos of yours go."

"Let us hope that I'm a good poker player, then."

It turned out that _Merrill_ was the most clothed by the end of the first round, mostly because she had played it safe and not risked that many hands. Isabela had certainly led by example: she was almost naked. Carina was torn between wanting to look, and thinking it was rather rude to stare so obviously. She had lost her pants, boots, and scarf, and Isabela certainly wasn't holding back on the staring. But it was Isabela. You could hardly be offended by Isabela looking.

"So what do you think, Kitten?" Isabela said, stretching and yawning. "Fun game?"

Merrill had only lost her scarf and boots. "Oh, well, it's certainly interesting. I think Carina's right, it's far more fun when you're drunk."

"Kitten, I think you've had all that's good for you." Isabela collected the cards and began reshuffling them. "And I suppose I got my answer with Fenris," she added, smirking. Fenris had lost his shirt; Carina did notice that he had a nicely sculpted chest. The lyrium tattoos ran down his chest and formed a whorl on his stomach.

* * *

><p>They played two more rounds until Varric finally kicked them out, claiming that he needed at least <em>some<em> sleep before the expedition left. Fenris and Anders left, one to Hightown and one to Darktown, but Merrill was too tipsy to walk straight, and Isabela and Carina decided that they needed to walk her down to the alienage.

"Carina, are you going to take me along?" Merrill asked plaintively as they steered her through the Lowtown streets. One lout had the misfortune to whistle at them, until Isabela went over and kicked him where it hurt. Every once in a while, Merrill would slip down and Carina would have to haul her back up.

"Do you want to come along, Merrill?" Carina bit her lip. She had already half-made up her mind to not bring Merrill along, simply because she seemed like part of her would wither and die underground, away from the sunlight. It was a stupid superstition, because no matter what Varric called her, she wasn't a flower.

"Oh yes! I want to help you out!" Merrill grinned, and then slumped against Isabela. "I'm really tired now, will you take me home?"

"We're getting there, Kitten," Isabela soothed her, patting her hair. When they eventually reached the alienage, they tucked her into bed. Isabela hunted down some water. "She's going to be thirsty as a fish when she wakes up. I think I'll stay here and look after her, actually. I don't want her to choke on her puke. I had a friend who did that, once. Disgusting end."

"Isabela…"

"What? It's the truth."

"She wants to come along on the expedition."

"I heard." Isabela looked more sober. "Kid's never faced a darkspawn in her life. She has no idea what's really down there."

"I don't want her to feel like I'm coddling her," Carina said awkwardly. She wanted to protect Merrill, but at the same time, she realized that she was an adult.

"Sweet thing, don't worry. She's so smashed that she won't even remember what she said tomorrow morning. She'll want to come, but she won't remember that she said that to you, and by the time she wakes up, you'll be long gone. I'll break it to her gently." Isabela hesitated. "Were you wanting me to come?"

"It doesn't seem like your thing." Carina tried to joke. "Work for free? That's not the Isabela I know."

"Well, I figured I would be getting a slice of your handsome profits," she smiled. "But if you need me, I'll come along."

For purely practical reasons, Carina thought that she needed Anders and Fenris. Anders was a healer, and Fenris's brute strength would be of use. She explained it to Isabela.

"Fair enough. I'll be here, looking after Merrill, then."

"Would you…I already asked Aveline, but would you keep an eye on my family? Just drop in every once in a while. Beth's going to be heartbroken that I'm leaving her behind."

"I'm sure I could think of something to cheer Bethany up." Isabela saw the look on Carina's face. "Bad time to joke, then. Yes, I'll drop in."

"I can pay you for it."

Isabela looked disgusted. "Is that how you see me? Someone who wouldn't do a single thing for another person, never mind that I'm their friend? That you've got to pay me for every favour I do you? You might as well pay me for sex and have done."

"No, Bela, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it that way." Carina winced. Why was it that every time she opened her mouth tonight, she was getting into trouble? "I really didn't. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I don't know what you were thinking either," Isabela muttered. She turned away and looked out the window. "Is that really how you see me? A money-grubbing bastard?"

"No," Carina said emphatically. Isabela threw up her hands. "Why should I even care about what you think of me…" She turned back and kissed Carina. It was so sudden that Carina could do nothing but react. Her lips opened and she grabbed a fistful of Isabela's silky black hair. Isabela's hands tightened around her waist, and pushed her gently back into the wall. Isabela's tongue slipped between Carina's lips, and she responded eagerly.

It seemed like they were kissing for hours, but it could only have been minutes later that they broke apart. "I don't think we're going to tell Merrill about that," Carina said, blushing.

"Aww, look. You're blushing. That's so cute." Isabela widened her eyes. "Don't tell me you're a virgin?"

"Real sensitive, Isabela. If you've got to know, no, I'm not." Carina went for the door. "I've got to be up early enough to fool Beth. Night."

"Goodnight, Carina," Isabela called from Merrill's bedroom. "And I really will be looking out for your family."

Carina didn't know why she waited till she was outside to whisper "Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Sorry for the long wait! My computer crashed, unfortunately. Still isn't fixed, but I'm using an old one with a crappy word processor. At least I'm getting words out, right? Love any and all reviews!

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><p>Bethany had been moping around the house for days on end. Isabela was getting a little tired of it. No matter how many times both she and Aveline (<em>Aveline<em>) had explained why Carina had left her behind, Bethany still refused to leave the house.

"Look, Sunshine, just a walk through the marketplace. I think your uncle is looking about ready to kick you out."

"Never mind him," Bethany scowled. She plucked a few stray strands from her blouse. "He has nothing better to do than sit around and scowl."

"Like you're doing right now? Sweet thing, I know it's rough. But you've got to get outside."

Bethany shook her head stubbornly. "What's the point? I'll creep through the marketplace on the lookout for templars and I won't buy anything, because I don't have the cash, and I'll come home after barely an hour."

"So I'll buy it for you." Isabela hooked her arm under Bethany's and pulled her up. "Change of plans. We're not going to the marketplace. We're going to the alienage, to find Merrill, and then we're going to the Hanged Man. I'm going to put you on my tab and we are going to get outrageously drunk."

Bethany pulled her arm away. "No! I think that would be a very bad idea!"

Isabela sighed loudly. "Leandra, could you back me up here?"

Her mother was in the room just outside. There were only three rooms in the place, Isabela reflected, it really was a hole. "She's right, darling. You ought to get a breath of fresh air."

"Fresh air in Kirkwall?" Bethany muttered. Isabela was heartened. It might have been scraggly sarcastic humor, but it was humor nonetheless. "I'll even put Aveline on my tab if it'll make you feel better."

"Aveline doesn't do a lot of drinking."

"You'd be surprised." Isabela happened to know that Corff put up free drinks for the guards, and Aveline showed up there quite a bit with the other guards, especially a tall, square-shouldered, brown-haired guard, oh, what was his name now…

Merrill was pleased to come along. Somehow, Isabela thought that neither Sunshine or Daisy had exactly been living up to their nicknames. Merrill had been sad when Carina left, but understood her reasons; unlike Bethany. Isabela did as promised and even dropped in by Aveline's office to try and bring her out for a night of hard drinking. Aveline had been leery of the hard drinking part, but promised to at least stop by after her shift was done.

The Hanged Man smelled of piss and vomit and alcohol, and Isabela loved it. Bethany looked a little sick, and Isabela suspected that perhaps she hadn't been eating well either. So she ordered a round of beers and some fried bread for Bethany. It was soaking in grease and liberally dusted with salt, so it was really the best food to have while a girl was drinking.

It went better than she thought. Bethany could drink a surprising amount for a girl who never got out, and Isabela ensured that her drink was never empty. Merrill was, of course, the adorable lightweight. By the time Bethany had had three beers, she was even up to laughing and playing cards. Isabela dealt out a hand for Wicked Grace, and on their second game, Aveline showed up.

"Drinks on me, Aveline," Isabela said, putting down another copper. "I've got you on this hand, girls."

"Where do you ever find the money for it all?" Aveline asked, flagging down Norah for a beer. "It's not expensive but the way you drink it, it adds up."

"It's not so bad when I never spend money on anything else," Isabela replied. "Plus, I cheat at cards."

"Is that why you've been winning these last few hands?" Bethany asked suspiciously.

"No!" Isabela put a hand to her heart. "Cheat on you, Sunshine? That would ruin my chances of getting you in bed!"

"Good luck with that," Aveline said dryly. Isabela shrugged. "You know me, I live in eternal hope."

Bethany giggled. "Izzy, don't be silly." She was slurring, Isabela realized. Probably she had had more than enough. "I think that's the last drink for you, sweet thing." Isabela grabbed her glass.

"No!" Bethany made a playful grab for it, and sparks flew. Merrill covered her mouth. Bethany had shot lightning at the cup - it was sparking. Isabela dropped it as it stung her hands.

Bethany stared down at the mug shards as though they were spiders. "Oh, Maker…" She overturned her chair and fled the bar, leaving a shocked silence behind.

Aveline very deliberately crushed the shards below her boot. "Isabela. This is your fault."

Merrill shook her head. "I have to go after her." She darted out after Bethany. Isabela sat in shock. She hadn't realized that Bethany would use magic…but of course she would. She lost control. She had made her so drunk that she lost control.

Aveline hauled Isabela up by one arm. "Come on." Aveline strode over to Corff, and slipped two sovereigns to him. "That's for your silence. Pay your servers. It didn't happen."

Isabela snapped out of her daze. "There's a dozen drunk men here. They all saw." Corff nodded in agreement. "I'll be quiet, but I can't guarantee anyone else."

"Damnation." Aveline dragged a chair to the centre of the bar, and climbed up on it. "Everyone. Round of drinks on me. Nothing happened tonight. You stick to that story and you'll have no trouble."

Isabela waited till they were outside. "You think that the threat of the guards is going to do anything out here?"

Aveline spun around and pushed her into a wall, quite hard. "I don't want to abuse my position. I'm doing it for Carina. You got me into this mess. I told Carina before she left that I'd make sure she had a family to come home to." Aveline released Isabela, and rubbed her forehead. "Maker. You really try me."

Isabela smoothed her blouse down. "I thought it'd be a good thing for the girl. You know that she's been moping around in Gamlen's since Carina left."

"So take her out to the marketplace. Buy her a puppy. Isabela, if anything comes of this…"

* * *

><p>Isabela strolled along the docks, bottle in hand. Merrill was walking beside her. "Look at <em>that<em> one, Kitten," Isabela said, pointing at a large two-masted ship. "That's exactly the sort of ship that I want to snag."

"When are you going to snag a ship, Isabela?" Merrill queried. There was a sticky sound and she made a sound of disgust. "Oh! That's the third time today. These docks are very filthy, you know."

"Oh, soon," Isabela said dreamily. "Eventually. After Carina comes back. She'll be a rich woman and she'll have no need for a thief around then."

"I hope she still wants us around," Merrill said. "I don't want to leave. I've really got nowhere else to go."

Whenever she said things like this, Isabela's chest would tighten. "Of course you do, Kitten. I think Carina will have you around as long as you want to be. But if you've got nowhere else to go, you'll come with me."

"On a ship? I get seasick."

"That's because you don't know how to sail properly. I'll shape you up."

"Oh look!" Merrill waved at a redheaded guard, coming at them at a furious pace. "Aveline!"

Aveline drew back her arm and backhanded Isabela across the face with all the considerable strength she could muster. Isabela staggered and fell. Merrill gasped and helped her up. "Isabela! Aveline, why did you do that?"

"Bethany," Aveline said summarily. "The templars came today."

Merrill's face, already pale, drained of color completely. "They did?"

"Heard about something at the Hanged Man." In contrast to Merrill, Aveline was dark with rage. "I've tried everything. They won't budge. They're taking her today."

Isabela shrugged off Merrill's hand and started to run.

* * *

><p>The three of them burst into Gamlen's house just as the templars arrived.<p>

"Guard-captain." The lieutenant templar, Cullen, put his hand on his sword. Aveline's greeting was similarly chilly. Cullen was accompanied by five templars - it was six against three. Isabela figured that the three of them _probably _could thrash Cullen's skirted team, but it was killing templars, and they took offense to that in Kirkwall.

On the other hand, Bethany's freedom was at stake here.

"May I speak with you in private?" Aveline asked. Cullen nodded stiffly. "I don't know what you want to say, Guard-captain, but if you wish."

They went into the side room and shut the door. Isabela drifted as inconspicuously as she could towards Bethany and whispered "Bethany?"

Bethany turned sideways a little as though she was enjoying the heat of the fire. With a sinking feeling, Isabela realized that any conversations that Bethany wanted to have in private from here on in would have to be concealed, just like this, from the templars. "Isabela."

"Bethany, I am so, so sorry."

"I know. It wasn't your fault."

Why did she have to be so damned angelic? Isabela felt more worthless than she ever had in her entire life. She had ruined Bethany's life and probably her family's too, but Bethany was simply forgiving her.

"I really…I can't even say how sorry I am."

"Look after Mother, will you? And Gamlen. And Carina, when she gets back. Tell her that I'm sorry it had to be this way."

As though she had done such a bang-up job of protecting the youngest Hawke. "I will."

"Get Merrill out of here, too. She looks nervous." Isabela glanced towards the elf. Nervous was an understatement. Merrill had backed herself up into a corner, trying desperately not to attract attention from the five faceless templars in the centre of the room.

Aveline banged the door open and stormed out. Cullen came out after her, looking intractable. "Hawke, if you would come with me."

Bethany, eyes cast down, followed him. Leandra gave one agonizing sob and collapsed on the ground. Aveline knelt beside her and hugged her. The six templars and their mage prisoner marched to the door, Merrill scrambling out of their way, and left Gamlen's house and the Hawke family forever. Isabela stood, rooted to the ground. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. She promised her. She had promised her.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Long time between updates _again_, sorry! There is pretty much no Isabela in this part, it's just Deep Roads. I promise there will be Isabela in the next chapter!

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><p>Carina thought that she could have handled the Deep Roads. Turns out, she couldn't.<p>

It wasn't the claustrophobia - after a week in the Roads, she was even getting used to narrow spaces. It wasn't the dank air, and it wasn't the lack of greenery.

It was the _darkness_. Without a lit torch, the darkness was so overwhelming that it felt like suffocating. She felt as though she had been blinded - even when the torches were lit, all she could see was the small ring of light cast by them. Beyond that small ring, everything was black. She had lost her peripheral vision. For her, whose primary fighting style depended on slipping around the enemy and playing the angles, it was as if she had lost her right hand.

Varric didn't deal well with it, either. He made less jokes than usual, and his nerves were stretched thin. Of course, Bartrand wasn't exactly helpful about it. Bartrand seemed to believe that the Deep Roads themselves should bend to his will, and freely beat up workers under him for not clearing the road fast enough, or bringing back scouting information that wasn't quite exact. After a while, Carina volunteered to scout ahead for long stretches of time just so she could get away from the poisonous atmosphere of the expedition. She brought Anders with her, though she left Varric and Fenris with the caravan, because he also was brought low by the Deep Roads. In fact, the only one who seemed unaffected by the atmosphere was Fenris.

"Look at this," she said on one of these scouting trips, flicking a dagger into a gleaming line of red in the walls. "Lyrium."

"Just…keep it away." Anders looked ashen, gripping his staff tightly. Carina hustled them past. "Does it make you feel sick?"

"It's helpful in small doses, but after a lot of exposure…it starts making your head buzz and your limbs start shaking. I don't envy the templars who get stuck on the stuff."

"Well, let me know if you need to go back to the caravan." She pushed open an old, creaky door, daggers at the ready.

"I won't leave you by yourself here."

They advanced slowly. Carina knew that if they should run across a large group of darkspawn, their only option would be for her to throw some smoke bombs so they could retreat under its cover. They had only run across darkspawn in groups of two or three so far, at any rate.

"How do you think they live?" she asked Anders.

"The darkspawn?" He shrugged. "Like any other monster."

"Yes, but what do they _do_?" She gestured at the Roads. "Do you think they've got day jobs? Day chores? Sit around campfires and tell stories?"

He gave an unwilling laugh. "If I see darkspawn sitting around a campfire singing a rousing song about team spirit, you'll be the first one I tell."

"I wondered if you'd know, because you were a Grey Warden."

"I was. We were too busy trying to kill them than to relate to them."

They turned a corner into a very large, wide-open room. It was very dimly lit-up - perhaps some faint sunlight coming in through cracks high above - but the light refracted off the lyrium embedded in the walls and gave the whole room a dark-red, sparkling atmosphere. It was beautiful, but to Carina it reminded her uncomfortably of a room painted in blood.

Before either of them had time to remark on it, a roar echoed through the room, and a fully grown _dragon_ spiraled from a roost high above and slammed into the ground in front of them. The impact shook loose chunks of rock that showered down on the room. Carina scrabbled at her belt for a smoke bomb, but the dragon loosed a sheet of fire at the corridor they were standing in. They threw themselves out of the way, and Anders dropped his lantern. The oil caught fire and in seconds, the corridor was a raging inferno. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that they couldn't escape.

Automatically, she rolled to the side, trying to flank the dragon, and drew her daggers. Anders shot a ball of ice at the dragon's head, which the dragon intercepted and melted in midair. Carina slipped under the belly of the dragon, ignoring the sickly smell of charred meat, and stabbed at its belly. The dagger made a shrieking noise as it scraped against the dragon's scales, but didn't pierce them at all.

Horrified, she shouted, "Anders! I can't stab it!"

"Wings and throat," he shouted back. The dragon shot a fireball at him, and he threw up a magical shield. "They're vulnerable."

The dragon had realized she was under its belly. It reared up and clawed at her, and she jerked sideways, avoiding razor-sharp claws. _They're the size of my forearm_, she realized in a panic. If the dragon got in one good hit at her, she would be dead.

She suddenly thought of Bethany and her mother. Thank Andraste that Bethany hadn't come.

A bolt of lightning flew over her head and impacted the dragon on its shoulder. She took advantage of the moment's distraction to slash wildly at the left wing, then rolled away. The dagger made a slight rip in the wing. She could do this all day and not get anywhere.

The throat. Carina swallowed, then ran at the tail. "Shield me!" she shouted, then leaped on the tail. She hadn't any idea if Anders had heard, but she couldn't stop to check. Using the spikes as a hold, she ran lightly up the tail and onto the dragon's body.

It noticed her then. The dragon arched its back in rage, then flapped its mighty wings twice and took to the air. She slipped and grabbed desperately at a spike, coming down hard and flat on the dragon's back.

Riding a dragon. If she wasn't about to die, it would be funny.

The dragon roared in fury, and lurched sharply to the left. Craning her head, Carina saw that Anders had encased its left wing in ice, and it was dragging it down. She renewed her efforts, pulling herself along its back spike by spike. As the dragon careened around the room and Anders shot more ice at its wings, Carina neared its head.

There were no spikes within five feet of its head. She measured the distance in her mind, then pushed off the spike and leaped at its head. If she could get her legs wrapped around its neck, she would be able to hold on long enough to stab it in the neck.

She hadn't taken into account, however, that the dragon was very near the ground. As she leaped, the dragon plowed into the floor with a resounding crash. Carina was flung forwards, and just managed to grab the horns before she went over its head. With all her strength, she slammed her dagger into its eye, pushing it all the way up to the hilt. The dragon thrashed, throwing its head up and flinging Carina high into the air. She saw the ground coming up and winced in anticipation. Then her head hit a rock and everything went blank.

When she opened her eyes again, Anders was leaning over her. "You look fuzzy," she said groggily. He nodded, tight-lipped. As he rested his hand on her head, her mind seemed to clear.

"The dragon?"

"Dead." Anders sat back, looking exhausted. "I don't know what made you pull a stunt like that, but it was idiotic…and amazing. Varric's going to be spitting fire when he hears about this."

"Great." She pushed herself up and moaned in pain. She felt as though a giant had taken a club to her all over. "He's going to embellish it all over Kirkwall."

"What's left to embellish?" Anders bent over the dragon's head. "Want a tooth as a souvenir?"

"Varric won't believe me otherwise." Carina rubbed her shoulder. "How long was I ought for?"

"A couple minutes. It wasn't drastic. But your shoulder was dislocated - that's why it's so sore."

Carina looked down at her shoulder. It was mildly unnerving to know that she'd been injured so badly, and then had it fixed before she even woke up. Like it had never happened.

They found two chests of treasure that were in the corner of the room, and laden with the best, returned to the caravan.

* * *

><p>"Have a look at this," Varric said.<p>

"It's lyrium," Carina said, rubbing her finger along the seam.

"Yeah, it's lyrium, Hawke. But look at how much is down here. This wall here could supply the Chantry for a year. The place is practically buzzing."

"That must be why Anders looks so sick." Carina looked back at him. He was sitting on a sack of flour, looking particularly miserable.

"I can feel it," Fenris said. He reached out to touch it with a finger, then drew it back without making contact. "It feels - I don't know - _alive_."

Carina glanced at the lyrium tattoos in his skin. He seemed to glow a bit down here. She thought wryly that if she included Justice, two of her three friends down here could act as lights if they ran out of torches.

"We're going to scout ahead a bit, Bartrand," Varric called. Anders dragged himself off the flour and came to join them.

After fighting a few shades, they came to a door with intricate designs, set into a craggy rock face. Carina pushed at it, but it didn't budge. She thought that perhaps it opened outwards, but it turned out it was just incredibly heavy. It took both her and Fenris pushing as hard as they could to make it swing inwards.

The room it opened to was large - four columns surrounding a raised platform. There was no art or anything on the walls; they were all smooth. Even the back of the door was smooth.

On the raised platform there was a stone table with a small object on it, emitting glowing red light. It might have been just her imagination, but to Carina it seemed like it throbbed, like a heartbeat.

The object was a carved idol, made entirely of lyrium. Anders retched and stepped backwards. Even Carina, who had no magic in her blood at all as far as she knew, felt a tingling as she reached out for it. It was remarkably heavy for its size. Bertrand came in behind them. Varric turned to him: "Look at this. An idol of lyrium, pure red lyrium. I bet it's worth twice its weight in gold."

"Excellent." Bartrand held out a hand for it, and Carina tossed it to him. "Let's look around further in."

She didn't turn around until she heard the scraping of rock on rock. "No!" She flung herself down the stairs and cannoned into the door a second after it closed. Her fingers scrabbled at the rock, but the outline of the door fit almost seamlessly into the wall. It was hopeless; there was no purchase to get a grip on, and even if there was, the door was too heavy to pull outwards.

Fenris swore and thrust his hand into the door. He started glowing and Carina stepped back. Before he could get more than his hand and wrist through the door, he yelped and jerked back as though the door had burned him. "It's the lyrium," he panted, seeing Carina's look. "There's lyrium everywhere. I can't phase through it."

Varric started shouting. "Bartrand! Open the door! The idol's not worth this!"

"The idol isn't?" Bartrand's voice was just on the other side of the door, but so muffled by the thick rock it sounded very faint. "What about this thaig? This discovery is worth a fortune. I'm not splitting it three ways."

Varric cursed loudly at Bartrand in a splendid variety of languages, but eventually his shoulders slumped. "Right. Let's see if there's another way out of this hole."

The thaig was long and mazelike. The first time they encountered the primals, Carina was so rattled she could barely attack them. Something about them; the way they moved, the noises they made, awoke some basic fear in the back of her mind.

After they had cut their way through a half-dozen of them, a large rock wraith assembled itself in front of them, blocking their way. Fenris swung his sword in front of him, menacing it.

"Stop. Enough." The voice was deep and ageless. "I do not wish to see these creatures harmed further."

"They were harming us first," Carina said, holding her daggers loosely at her side, ready to attack.

"They will not, not without my permission. I know that you wish to leave this place. There is a route high above, which may be accessed through a room ahead. The way is sealed, however, and cannot be opened without a key."

"And if we do something for you, we get the key," Carina finished. Even in the bowels of the earth, someone was still wanting to hire you for a quick job.

"Don't make a bargain with it," Anders warned. He was shivering; yellow pus crusted around his eyes and his skin was grey. Carina wanted to get out of here more than anything for his sake. The lyrium was affecting him badly. "He's a demon, here to feed on those creatures. He's going to trip you up."

"I agree with the mage." Fenris still had his sword ready. "It isn't interested in helping us."

"I'm not saying I will, but what did you want?"

"There is an ancient spirit in the cavern ahead. Slay it and the key will be yours."

"Pass," she said. She wasn't interested in getting embroiled in a struggle between two demons.

It meant that they had to slay the rock wraith, which turned into an abomination halfway through, but Fenris cut it down easily. "Let's tread carefully," he advised as he sheathed his sword. "I don't like the sound of this spirit. The demon didn't tell us everything."

They made their way into the cavern, which had spikes of lyrium crystals, blue and red, ornamenting the walls and columns.

"It's the vault," Varric noted, turning around slowly. "The dwarves would have brought their valuables here."

A loud cracking noise made them all jump. A massive rock wraith, held together with veins of lyrium, rose high above them, sparking with electricity.

"Oh, damnation," Carina muttered, drawing her daggers.

Before any of them had moved more than three steps, the wraith let loose a wave of red electricity, and paralyzed all of them. The sparks danced across Carina's skin, stinging her painfully. She struggled to move, but the wave had her trapped.

Just before she lost consciousness, the wave retreated and the wraith collapsed in a pile of rocks. The lyrium in it still hummed, which made Carina think that it wasn't dead yet. She struck at one of the lyrium veins as hard as she could. Hairline cracks sped through it, and she struck again and again till it had shattered.

"The lyrium!" she shouted. "Smash the lyrium."

Fenris leaped into the rocks, laying about him with his sword. Varric used Bianca as a club to break apart the lyrium veins. Suddenly, the rock that Carina was standing on twitched, and the monster rose again. She flung herself out of the way and dragged Fenris and Varric behind a column, where Anders had been doing his spell work.

The wraith unleashed the electricity again, but just as she had gambled, the column protected them. As it collapsed again, they darted back out to break the lyrium. Smaller primals sprang up around the wraith, harrying them. Fenris cut them down as Carina and Varric worked on the wraith.

Twice more they ran away from the wraith's wave of electricity and came back to shatter its lyrium veins, but eventually Carina smashed the last one. She was thrown back as the energy in the wraith was released; a powerful wind that she could swear she heard dwarves' words in.

"Ancestors piss on me, but the rock wraiths aren't supposed to be real," Varric said shakily. "They're just legends."

"Some legend." Carina kicked aside a rock and went towards a door carved in the wall. "I think this is where we want to go."

"And this is how we get through it!" Anders said excitedly. "Over here!"

He was standing in front of a pile of gold, as high as he was, and encircled by treasure chests.

Varric picked up a coin. "This…it should have a paragon stamped on it. This is…this is from before the paragons!"

"It's valuable, then!" Carina began picking the locks on the chests. "There should be a key in there somewhere for that door, I bet."

It didn't take long to find it. Shortly, Carina and the others were laden down with the best pieces from the treasure hoard, and she had the key to the door in her hand. Outside of the thaig, Varric soon figured out where they were, and calculated that it would take no more than a week to get back to the surface.

"Maybe a day more, since we're all carrying pounds and pounds of gold."

"I got time," Carina said happily. Even Anders looked better now they were no longer in the lyrium-suffused thaig.

* * *

><p>When they reached the surface, they came out near the Dalish camp on Sundermount. As the sunlight hit her eyes, Carina cried out and dropped all her treasure. "Ow!"<p>

Varric grimaced in sympathy. "You three are going to have to adjust a bit. Dwarf eyes adjust quickly."

Carina sat down hard, eyes squeezed shut. "Andraste's tits, it feels like I'm going blind."

"It'll take a few hours. Okay, it'll take a few days. But it's only gonna be a few hours before you can see normally again. You'll just be a bit sensitive for a few days."

Anders rubbed his eyes. "I forgot about this. One more reason I hate the blighted Deep Roads."

Fenris shook his head determinedly. "We should get back."

"What are you in such a hurry about, elf?" Varric stretched out on the ground luxuriously. "It's a gorgeous summer day. Those look like some raspberry canes over there. Let's enjoy the sunshine and the fact that we're alive."

When she could, Carina opened her eyes just a tiny bit. The gold in the sunlight was dazzling. "We're going to be rich, aren't we?"

"You're going to be a noble, Hawke."

They lay there for a while, enjoying the sunlight. Varric got up after an hour and went to pick raspberries. "Is it the season already?" Carina called, her eyes closed.

"We were down in the Deep Roads for about three weeks. Maybe a month. It's prime time now."

She leaned back and smiled.

"Varric? Varric!"

Her eyes flew open and she cursed at the sudden sharp pain. She squeezed them shut and shouted "Merrill?"

A slim, small body cannoned into her. "Carina!"

Anders and Fenris both greeted her stiffly, but Varric and Carina made up for it. "Why are you out here?" Varric asked.

"I came to pick raspberries," she blushed. "And maybe just see how the clan is. But I didn't think I'd run into you here! Where are the rest of the expedition?"

This necessitated a longer explanation.

"I can't believe that!" Merrill shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Varric. How could anyone betray their own friends and family for money?"

"You're an idealist, Daisy. But we got the last laugh." Varric hefted one of the gold-and-silver idols they had found. "This will net a fortune."

"It's so pretty!" She took it from him and marveled over it. Then she glanced at the rest of them. "Why are you squeezing your eyes shut?"

"After a long time in the dark, your eyes hurt in light," Carina explained.

"Oh! Of course."

"How's everyone in Kirkwall?" Varric asked.

Carina only had her eyes open a tad, but she couldn't miss the anxious look Merrill shot at her. "I had hoped that I wouldn't be the one to tell you…"

"What?" Carina opened her eyes all the way and leaned forwards. "What?" Her heart sped up, beating a million times a minute.

"It's Bethany," Merrill admitted, looking everywhere but at her. "The templars…"

Anders stood up. "The templars came for Bethany?"

Carina lurched to her feet. "No," she said, as though denial alone could make it impossible.

"I'm so sorry!" Merrill rose too. "We tried everything."

Carina started running towards Kirkwall. There was a stitch in her side soon and she was weak from lack of food, but she had to keep running. She had to.

It took her two hours to reach Gamlen's house. She burst through the door, falling to her knees inside.

Leandra was sitting on a chair, her face in her hands. As Carina entered, she spun around. "Oh, my baby!" She knelt with Carina and hugged her fiercely. At the touch of her mother, Carina lost all control and sobbed into her shoulder.

Over Leandra's shoulder, Carina could see both Aveline and Isabela through her tears. Aveline stood square, shoulders bowed. Isabela was staring down at her toes. Irrationally, Carina felt a great rage against them - the two of them. They were here, but Bethany was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Aveline was the one who first discovered that the old Amell mansion was up for sale.

Carina was sitting listlessly on her bed at Gamlen's, tossing a dagger up and down. She wasn't paying much attention, and she had already nicked her hands and wrists more than once. The door had been barricaded by jamming a chair up underneath the handle. As a rogue, Carina knew how to make someplace secure, and how to just as quickly make it _un_-secure.

Aveline knocked hard on the door. Carina didn't bother answering. "Carina!" Aveline shouted, her voice muffled. "Carina, open the door. I want to talk to you."

Carina flicked the dagger at the wall, embedding it deep in the wood. She laid back on her bed. If this was a normal day, Bethany would be sleeping on the top bunk. They would be catching up on rest they'd lost while running night jobs. Eventually, when Bethany woke up later, they'd go to the Hanged Man to meet Isabela and Varric. Perhaps the others would show up as well.

If Bethany wasn't on that top bunk, Carina had no intention of ever getting up again.

Leandra's voice joined Aveline's at the door. "Sweetheart?"

Carina ignored her.

"I'm sorry, Aveline." Leandra sounded exhausted. "She hasn't done anything since she got back. Varric's been by every day. He's beating himself up over it."

"She must be starving."

"I don't know if she's eaten at all. We can't open the door."

Carina _had_ eaten; there was a little stash of food in the cupboard. It was running low, however. She didn't know what she was going to do when it ran out - she was incapable of thinking ahead any more.

"Damn it." Carina heard footsteps move away from the door, a hurried protest from Gamlen - "What are you - wait, _hey_" - and a resounding crash against the door. She bolted upright as Aveline flung herself against the door again, and it came down. Poor Gamlen. He was going to be spitting sparks.

"There you are." Aveline brushed dust off of her armor. "Don't make me do anything like that again. Why have you barricaded yourself in like this?"

"Oh, I don't know," Carina said acidly. "Perhaps someone didn't look after a certain sister, like they promised."

Aveline stripped off her gauntlet, then punched Carina in the face.

Her head snapped back and she tasted blood on her lip. She curled her hands into fists, but she didn't try and hit back. Aveline would simply knock her out again.

"Snap out of it." Aveline's voice was firm and inexorable. "I've _been_ to see Bethany. I apologized to her, and I've apologized to you a dozen times through that Maker-damned door. I let you down and I've beaten myself up every day for that. But I'm not sitting in my office feeling sorry for myself. I did wrong, but I can't change that. Bethany knows that you've locked yourself in here. She wants you to come out."

Carina bit her lip, then cursed inwardly at the pain. She knew that she'd lashed out at Aveline unreasonably. But Bethany was gone.

"Now, I came here because I heard from the Viscount that he's putting the Amell mansion up for sale. Seems that the slavers skipped with dues outstanding, so the mansion's the city's property now. I thought that you might like to know."

"But I went and talked to him!" Leandra tiptoed gingerly through the wreckage of the door. "I put in a claim!"

"I know." Aveline turned to face her. "But since the slavers hadn't paid taxes, their property goes to the Viscount, no matter who owned the mansion before. It was a legal transaction anyway, when Gamlen gave them the mansion at first. At any rate, the mansion belongs to the city now and they're selling it."

Carina laid back down. Her head hurt, and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"Sweetheart?" Leandra came to the bed and sat down next to her. Carina turned her head away. She didn't want accusations or tearful begging. She couldn't look her mother in the eye now. After all, it was her fault originally. If she had taken Bethany to the Deep Roads, the templars wouldn't have come for her.

Leandra stroked her daughter's red hair away from her eyes. "It broke my heart to see Bethany go to the Circle. Now all I have is you. Please, sweetheart, please don't you leave me too."

Carina felt a lump form in her throat. Leandra kissed her temple. "No matter what, Carina, I love you."

Bethany might be gone, Carina realized, but she still had her mother. Leandra was still her family. And now she had the means to take care of her.

"Come on, Aveline," Carina said suddenly, getting up and retrieving her dagger from the wall. "We're going to go buy the Amell mansion."

Aveline was too wise to say anything, but she rolled her eyes in a _finally_ gesture. "I'll go get your money manager."

"What?"

"Varric! He's been selling all the treasure you found in the Deep Roads, and he's making a killing off of it." She sniffed disapprovingly. "I hope you put some of those funds into improving the city overall."

"You know how much of a philanthropist I am, Aveline."

"That's the first time I've seen you smile in a while, Carina," Aveline said, pleased.

They went to the Hanged Man, Carina lagging behind Aveline in some trepidation. She hadn't seen Isabela since the day that she got back and heard about Bethany. Isabela hadn't said anything to her that day, just dropped a kiss on the top of her head and went away quietly. The memory of kissing her in Merrill's house hadn't gone away - she still smelled the salty tang of Isabela's hair and felt the warmth of her lips.

They didn't have to worry, as it turned out. Isabela wasn't there. Corff was pleased to see Carina up and about, and gave her a mug of ale on the house. It was funny, Carina reflected, that when she could have really used a free ale, Corff wasn't in such a generous mood. Aveline rolled her eyes and shouted for Varric.

When Varric came down the stairs, Carina flung herself at him and hugged him hard. He put his hands on her arms and held her still for a moment. "Hawke! By the ancestors, I was really worried about you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. _I'm_ sorry for this. I'm so sorry that Sunshine's in the Circle. I should have done better by you."

His guilty look made Carina's insides twist. How had she gotten such loyal friends? She hugged him again. "I shouldn't have shut down like that. Aveline was right."

"Anyone would have. Aveline said that she was going to tell you that the Amell mansion was for sale?"

"I'm going to buy it."

Varric looked pleased. "I'm glad. Otherwise you're just going to be sitting on a mountain of gold with nothing to spend it on. Should warn you though, taxes in Hightown are daylight robbery."

"Fenris got around them, somehow," she said innocently. Varric laughed. "Yeah, but he had a little help. Whatever, I'll come with you to buy the mansion. You need someone to vouch for you."

"How much have we made?"

"Enough to buy a dozen mansions." He took out a small notepad from his pocket and showed her the figures. "I'm still looking for buyers for a couple of the pieces. That was one treasure hoard we found."

"And one bitch of a rock wraith to kill to get it." Carina handed the notepad back. "Let's go." She hesitated, looking at the empty spot at the bar. "Varric, where's Isabela?"

Varric had an uncanny amount of understanding in his eyes. "She's gone up the Wounded Coast at the moment. Someone had a lead on that relic of hers. I think she'll be back by dinnertime, if you want to come back then."

"I…I don't know."

Varric nodded. "Whenever you're ready, Hawke."

* * *

><p>Seneschal Bran searched through a pile of papers on his desk. "It should be somewhere in here. I'm sorry about this, we've been trying to sort out all the deeds recently."<p>

"I've got time." Carina settled back in her chair.

"Indeed." Bran looked her up and down. "I must say, you made an impressive amount of money in the Deep Roads. I thought, however, that your brother was going down there with you?"

Carina glanced uneasily at Varric. Their friends knew what had happened in the lost thaig, but she didn't know if Varric had made the knowledge public.

"My brother locked us in an ancient thaig," he replied with admirable evenness. "We managed to make it out. His loss, because the thaig was full of treasure."

"Ah." Bran returned to sorting papers. "Oh, here we are." He drew out a deed that was yellowed and crinkling at the edges. "It's a very old mansion. One of Hightown's oldest families."

"Now we're returning." Carina drew the deed towards her. "How do you want your payment?"

"I think this should do." Varric produced a piece of paper. "This allows transfer of your funds from the dwarves bankers to the Viscount's office. Sign it here."

Carina scanned the document, but it was what Varric said it was. She signed with a flourish and presented Bran with the slip. He stored it in the desk and gave her the deed. "Sign there, if you please."

She signed again, and took the deed. "Lock that up somewhere safe," Bran cautioned. She almost laughed at the thought of not locking up her valuables, but she smiled politely. "Of course."

Once they were outside, Varric exhaled heavily. "Whew. I hate being in there. It makes me think of business meetings and paying taxes. Well, Hawke, congratulations. Want to swing by later and get drunk?"

"She has a lot to do," Aveline said pointedly. "She's got to move into the new mansion. That will take days."

"Oh, don't be a stick-in-the-mud. It's cause for celebration!"

"I think," Carina said deliberately, "that I should go home and tell Mother the good news. I'm sure she will want to move in immediately."

"Good plan," Aveline said. "I've got some new guards to train, so if you'll excuse me…"

* * *

><p>Leandra's joy was so obvious, so infectious, that Carina found herself grinning too. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so glad to hear it." She took Carina's face in her hands and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, darling."<p>

"Anything for you, Mother," Carina said, hugging her fondly. It was only after they'd gotten over their initial raptures that either of them thought of Gamlen.

He sat in a chair near the fire, smoking his pipe. Carina thought how she almost never saw Gamlen smile. He wore a perennially unhappy expression, as though he had always been dissatisfied with life. Was he like this even as a child? Leandra never mentioned it.

"Go on," he said bitterly. "Go live like nobles again. I'll stay down here in the filth and the dirt."

She scowled at his passive-aggressiveness. "Look, Gamlen…"

"Just shut up." He got up and tapped his pipe into the fire, loosening the soot. "When Leandra left, the family was torn apart. My parents were in a state of shock for _months_. They never got over it. They died of the cholera still whispering her name. I was nothing to them. I'm nothing to you either. Thank the Maker you never call me uncle, because that would be untrue. You're all ashamed of me. You all wish that I wasn't a blood relative. If I lived with you in Hightown, you wouldn't stick your nose out the front door."

He threw the pipe with surprising ferocity at the wall. Carina flinched at the crack. "So you go up to Hightown and live like nobles there. I'll stay down in Lowtown like the broken gambler I am. We can pretend that neither of us know of each other. It can be like you never spent a year here."

"Gamlen," Leandra whispered.

"If you had just tried, Gamlen, it would have been different," Carina burst out. "If you had tried to love someone. You had a choice." She paused - there was so much she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that he might have lived a better life, he might have cared about other people. Family for him could have been friends. If he hadn't been embittered by how Leandra's leaving had affected him, he might still be living in the mansion in Hightown. But she didn't have the words to express it.

Instead, she turned around and left the house. She swore to herself under her breath that she would not come back. Her mother could handle moving their possessions to the mansion. There weren't many of them.

As she stormed away from Gamlen's house, she realized that she hadn't gone to see _her_ adopted family, her friends, since she had returned. She started to walk towards the Hanged Man, then paused. What if Isabela wasn't there? Worse, what if Isabela _was_ there?

She went to Darktown instead, holding her daggers loosely, just in case she met up with a band of mercenaries. The hour was late, but there was a bluish glow coming from Anders' clinic. She shook her head; templars would notice that. However, Anders couldn't turn down a patient, no matter the risk to himself. She knocked on the door. It opened a crack, and she could see Anders' pale face peeking out.

"It's okay, it's just me." From living with Bethany, she knew the panic that any mage felt at a knock on the door late at night. "Can I come in?"

"Carina!" He opened the door and she slipped in. "I was worried about you. You locked yourself up for a while there."

"Aveline broke down the door." Despite herself, she smiled at the memory. "Just kicked it in."

"That sounds like Aveline." Anders bent over a small child who was coughing weakly. The mother looked up at him pleadingly. "Can't you save him?"

"He's going to be fine." Anders rested his hand on the child's head. Carina remembered him doing the same thing to her in the Deep Roads when she had been concussed from the fall. His hand glowed blue and a warm, pulsing light flowed from it to the child's head. As the flow slowed, the child's face was suffused with warmth, and he stopped coughing.

"There you are." Anders sat back, exhausted. "Just don't let him run around for a few days."

"Thank you!" The mother offered him a loaf of bread, and took her child by the hand and led him out.

Anders tore a chunk off the loaf hungrily. Carina watched him sadly; he was very thin. She resolved to give him a chunk of the Deep Roads profits. After all, without him, she would probably be dead. "Did you know, I could see a blue glow from your clinic when I was coming in?"

Anders paused midchew. "Really? Damn. I thought I'd boarded those doors up well enough. I'll have to get some pitch and paint in the cracks." He resumed eating. "That would be bad news for me if any templars saw it. They were poking around Darktown yesterday."

"Were they?" She thought she had heard templars tramping through Lowtown in the past few days, but they hadn't come in. Why would they - they already had what they wanted from Gamlen's house.

"I wanted to say how sorry I am," he said awkwardly. "For Bethany. I wouldn't wish my worst enemy in the Circle."

"Don't tell me that." She rubbed her eyes. "Tell me that she's going to be all right. Tell me it's not as bad as everyone says."

Anders looked compassionately at her. "I wish I could. For what it's worth, she's strong. Stronger than she appears. If anyone can survive the Circle, I think she will."

Carina picked at splinters of wood on the back of a chair. "Any side effects from the lyrium in the Deep Roads?"

He recognized the change of subject. "I was in a bit of lyrium withdrawal for a couple of days. It's better now, though, that I've reacclimatized."

After a little while, she left, saying she needed to visit Fenris and Merrill. He shrugged as if to say he didn't think much of her choice, but waved goodbye and promised to come by the mansion once she was moved in.

As she walked through Hightown to the elf's stolen mansion, she passed by the Amell mansion. From the lights, it seemed as though Leandra was already making progress in moving them in. Tomorrow they should really go shopping for furnishings. The Viscount had held onto the old ones as a sort of back-tax on the slavers who had run out. She listened to the click that her boots made on the cobblestones and thought about how strange it would be to live in Hightown, rather than pass through as a scruffy refugee.

Fenris welcomed her with a bottle of Aggregio Pavalli. He was pleased to hear that she would be in Hightown, probably because as a noble she might have enough influence to prevent him getting kicked out as a squatter.

"Do you think Danarius knows where you are?" she asked, remembering his assertion that his old master would return.

"I wouldn't put it past him." Fenris took a drink from the bottle and passed it to her. "He has always found me before. I think it is the scars."

"They…call to him or something?"

He chuckled. "Call might not be the right word…but I think he can trace them using magic. I noticed that they tingled in the Deep Roads when I was near lyrium; perhaps he uses this connection."

"Did they hurt?"

He shrugged. "They always hurt."

"It sounds like I shouldn't have taken either you or Anders to the Deep Roads." Carina wondered what else she would feel guilty about.

"The mage was weak," Fenris said contemptuously. "I go where you need me to go."

She shrugged inwardly. Anders and Fenris loathed each other. Except in the pages of Isabela's friend-fiction, they would never get along.

"Have you seen Isabela since you got back?" she asked, hating herself for it.

He checked the level of wine in the bottle, and passed it to her. "Finish it if you like. She came by a couple of days after we returned. She was worried about you - as were we all."

"I was in the Hanged Man earlier today, but I didn't see her."

"She felt extremely badly about Bethany going to the Circle." Fenris looked down. "I…I agree with the Circle, but I am sorry for your loss. I believe Isabela felt it was her fault."

Carina twisted her fingers in her lap. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"Forgive her," he counseled. "She cares about you a great deal."

Carina felt her cheeks burn. "You think so?"

He smirked. "It is obvious to me."

When the wine was done, she left to see Merrill. Fenris offered to accompany her in case of thugs, but she waved him off. Carina ran lightly back to Lowtown, and into the alienage.

There was a templar there.

She skidded to a halt, and after a second's panic, climbed up a building. She lay flat on the roof, watching the templar. It was impossible to tell who the templar was; it could have been a man or a woman under that faceless, intimidating armor.

The templar had a piece of paper in hand, and seemed confused. She assumed that the paper was the templar's orders, and that the orders were to arrest a suspected mage in the alienage. The templar took the helmet off, and she could see who it was. Tall, with reddish close-cropped hair; it was Cullen, the templar who came to take Bethany.

Noiselessly, she drew her dagger. If he had come for Merrill, she was going to throw her dagger and kill him. Damn the consequences - she wouldn't let another person she had sworn to herself to protect be taken from her.

Cullen paused before Merrill's house, and Carina held her breath, gripping her dagger tightly. He checked the address against the paper, and moved on. Three houses down, Cullen raised his gauntleted hand and knocked, and the sound was thunderous. Shortly, a small elven woman answered, one with short brown hair that Carina didn't recognize.

Cullen bent his head and said something. She shook her head, frightened, and tried to close the door. He jammed a foot in the door and pushed it wide open. He shouted loud enough for her to hear "I have come for Hylan, and I'm not leaving without him!"

Carina lifted herself off her belly just enough to get a clear line of sight at Cullen. She held her dagger ready to throw, conflicted. He wasn't doing anything _wrong_; this was a templar duty. She didn't kill innocents.

He's _not_ innocent, her angry wounded side replied. He was the one that took Bethany. What he does is wrong.

She cursed and raised herself a little higher, preparing to throw. If she missed, she was going to be in a lot of trouble.

"What's going on?"

Shocked at the voice, Carina lost her balance and collapsed back on the roof. When she peered over the side, she saw light pouring from Merrill's open doorway. Isabela was leaning on the doorframe, looking down the row at Cullen.

"A suspected mage here," Cullen answered brusquely. "Nothing to concern yourself with."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't the courts presume innocent till proven guilty?" Isabela pushed herself off the doorframe and strolled languidly towards him. "That's what I thought, anyway."

"Mages are an exception," he said, squaring up to her. In his armor, he towered over the rogue. "We cannot assume that a mage is anything other than dangerous."

"Well, that's not fair, is it?"

"Fairness doesn't come into it, miss." Cullen pointed at her. "If I remember correctly, you were complicit in hiding a dangerous mage. Don't get yourself mixed up in this any more, or I will be forced to investigate you as a mage sympathizer."

From Carina's perch, she couldn't see Isabela's expression, but she could see the tension in her shoulders. For a long moment, Cullen and Isabela stared at each other, then Isabela's shoulders slumped and she turned away. Isabela closed Merrill's door with a slam, and Cullen went into the suspected mage's house. Carina heard a sound of protest, the inexorable rumble of Cullen's voice, and then a heartrending cry. She winced at the sound. In another moment, Cullen reappeared, dragging a boy with him. Carina gritted her teeth and sheathed her dagger. She couldn't help him. If a templar was murdered in the alienage, the Circle would take its revenge here, and she didn't want attention brought to Merrill's neighborhood.

When Cullen and the elven boy were gone, she scrambled down from the building and walked to Merrill's house. From inside, she could hear Isabela and Merrill's voices: Merrill's light and sweet, Isabela's deeper and more sultry. She steeled herself to meet Isabela face to face, and knocked.

Isabela opened the door, clearly ready for another confrontation with Cullen.

Carina swallowed, words that she had been preparing to say disappearing. Isabela's face changed as she took in Carina; from hostile to undisguised joy to nervous.

For a long time, neither of them said anything. Then Merrill came out cautiously from a back room. At the sight of Carina, she let out a joyful squeak and flung herself at Carina. "You're all right!"

Carina hugged Merrill, looking at Isabela over her shoulder. "Yes, I'm all right."

Merrill looked up. "I was so worried about you! I brought over cookies every day. I don't know whether or not you ate them at all, because you had locked yourself in that room."

Carina had to laugh. "No, I didn't see any cookies. I had barricaded the door, anyway."

"Well, I thought that maybe Leandra could slide them under the door. But then they'd have touched the floor and I suppose you wouldn't want to eat that. Maybe Gamlen ate them?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," Isabela said, the first words she had spoken since Carina opened the door.

Merrill broke the awkward silence that followed Isabela's statement. "Let me get you something to eat! You must be very hungry!"

Carina allowed herself to be dragged to the table and seated by Merrill. As the elf ran off to find some food, Isabela sat down opposite to her. They both examined the table for a while.

"If you hate me, I understand," Isabela said, breaking the silence. "I…" she broke off and laughed. "Damn it. I've been going over and over what I might say to you that might make any sense to you. I haven't come up with anything. I guess all I can say is that I failed you. I failed Bethany too. I'm so sorry, Carina."

Carina got up and walked around to Isabela, not knowing what she was going to do when she got to her. Isabela looked up at her, her expression blank. She was willing to take whatever Carina dished out to her.

She ended up slapping Isabela.

Isabela was knocked against the back of the chair. She raised a hand to her cheek, but didn't shout at Carina or make a move against her.

It aggravated Carina. She didn't know what she expected, but it wasn't this calm acceptance of Carina's wrath. She wanted Isabela to get mad at her too, to angrily defend herself, to shout and scream at Carina.

So she started to shout. She didn't even know what she said, it made no sense, but she just wanted to _scream_. She shouted at Isabela and she raged and she cried until her throat was hoarse and she had no energy to scream anymore.

Isabela got up and put her arms around Carina. Carina, worn out and eyes red from tears, collapsed into Isabela's embrace. Isabela half-carried, half-dragged her into Merrill's bedroom where she tucked Carina into bed as gently as if she were Leandra. The bed was warm and Carina had no energy left to protest any more. Isabela sat on the side of the bed till Carina fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Merrill had been waiting in the pantry. She was a smart girl, Isabela thought, she knew exactly when to stay and when to go. Isabela was sure that Merrill had only run off for some food because she knew that Carina needed to shout at Isabela.<p>

"She was mad at you, wasn't she?" Merrill said, passing Isabela a mug of hot tea. Isabela buried her nose in it and inhaled deeply. "Mad at me and at herself and at that sodding templar."

"I'm glad she's here, though." Merrill took a sip from her mug. "Ooh, hot! I saw Leandra in the marketplace today and she said that they bought the Amell mansion. She'll be living there soon enough, and that's even further from the alienage."

"I figure she'll come and visit you." Isabela shivered at the memory of Carina's reddened eyes and angry mouth. She had demons that Isabela couldn't imagine. "We're going to have to sleep on the floor tonight, though."

"She can have the bed. She looks like she needs a good night's sleep. That and some tea. I don't want to wake her up right now, though. I'll make a really nice breakfast tomorrow!"

"Kitten, you're too sweet." Isabela stretched and yawned. Confronting Cullen and then dealing with Carina's raw emotion had left her drained. "I'm about to fall asleep where I'm sitting. Do you have any blankets?"

"Cupboard in the hallway." Merrill wrapped her long, slim fingers around her mug. "Goodnight, Isabela."


End file.
